It was quite a tiresome journey to that coastal village near border. The company has asked me to personally visit the client and close the deal. The team down there was trying to get him in. But because of one or other reason it has been lingering for a long time. Finally we decided I will go for the kill. The guy is worth a fortune. It can be the best region for the company, businesswise, if we can wrap him in.
He greeted me with a warm smile. It was 3 hour long discussions after that. Finally we signed the Memorandum of Understanding. It was a bigger deal than what we had been planning for. I congratulated myself. After all, in my eyes, am the best. He invited me for a drink after formalities. He said” Sir it is customary here that we will have a drink together whenever we get into a new relation.” Ok let me not break the custom, Customer’s wish is a command.
“Sir everyone has seen me as a rich and successful businessman. But nobody knows the hard path I came through”. He said filling the glass for the fourth time. I was carefully listening to him with my drink in my hand for a long time. Its good to be a good listener. It pays.
“At the age of 15 Ieft home. My dad used to drink heavily and beat my mother and me severely. One day I decided enough. Now I won’t take this. Wandered a lot and finally reached this place. Here I got a job as assisstant to the driver of a truck. I had to wash the truck, get food and liquor for the driver, and do whatever job the driver asks me to do. In return on free time he will teach me driving.”
His servant boy came with a bowl full of dry fruits. He gave a half smile to me and left.
“By one year I became an expert driver.” Oh! God! He’s not finished yet with his story. I adjusted my sitting posture and made a feel in my face that am keenly listening to what he was saying. The sun has sunk in the horizon giving a great look. Smooth warm sea breeze added a majestic feel to the evening.
“Great sir. Still you drive vehicles?”
“Not that much. After a By-pass surgery I stopped driving.” He said and summoned his boy to get some more ice cubes.” Then I started smuggling spirit across the border. One day I was coming in a car, crossing the border. There were several cans of pure spirit in that car. I was fully tight with one full bottle of local rum. You know without spirit inside you, you cannot do these things. Suddenly I saw couple of Police vehicles behind me. They after me.” Now I was listening carefully.
“It was cat and mouse game for a long time. Finally when they reached too close I slammed the vehicle against a compound wall and started running. Running for my life, because I knew if they catch me it will by my end . At last I ran into a small house. Only one elderly lady was there. I fell on her feet requesting her don’t show me to the police. ” He stopped narration and sat looking into the distant sea for some time. His face became more tensed may be by the emotional hic up that the memories of old frightening days brought.
I sat there just looking at him carefully , watching different emotions passing by his face.
“ The police came to that house also , but the lady didn’t cheat me. In this game without an informer Police will never come to know about the smuggling vehicles. The informer invariantly will be an insider. For money or for revenge they turn against you. Sitting in the old lady’s attic I took 2 oaths.1) I’ll stop this business and go to some other state. 2) I’ll kill whoever has cheated me. Following days I fulfilled both the oaths.”
“You mean you killed the traitor?” I couldn’t stop asking.
He just nodded.” Then I went to other state. I did so many jobs. Finally ended up as a porn actor. There I made so much money. But that money didn’t stay with me. I tell you one thing, what ever money you make in that field at the end that money won’t be with you. I got jailed for the illegal porn business. There the biggest torture was they won’t give you food. You will go mad without food. If you can bribe an officer heavily he will arrange some food. But that was not at all suffient any time. Then I decided to take all my earnings and come back home . Here I started my current business and now as they say rest is history.”
Hmm..quite an interesting story. I was thinking of its potential to make into a bollywood movie.
“ You know something. They say behind every successful man there will be a woman. But I believe behind every successful businessman there will be a crime or many crimes."
I nodded in agreement and just swallowed those words with the remaining drink thinking why he was telling me all these things, may be he is feeling guilty of his past life and he wants to confess to someone to ease his mind. Eveyone's closet will have dirty linen like this. It is how fast you excrete those from your mind and move ahead determines the success of your life. Excretions, mental or physical has to be done regularly or it will make you sick. Now time to move ahead to new location for a new story. Let me say goodbye to this chap and start my journey.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Live Your Lives
Lately two Hindi movies have caught my attention; Rock On!! and 3Idiots(Inspired from five point someone).The reason behind is that both the movies had characters who wanted to do something in life and ended up doing something else which their family wanted them to do. But they finds out their actual goal of life and starts pursuing their goals. That was something new to me someone who grew up in an orthodox society at Kerala in the Southern tip of India. There society or family tells you what you should do. Options are limited. There is no go back. Doctor, Nurse, Engineer or Govt. Service. Exceptional case is jobs at “Gelf” ( what they call middle east countries) .These jobs have acceptance and respect. For others, society watches them either with sympathy or ridicule. So many times I had faced a question “O.K. Your brother in law is a cartoonist. What he does for a living?”. Means they don't consider cartoning as a serious profession. I myself had envied my cousin who does Salsa dancing and Theater along with her studies with full heart. In my academic days doing anything other than the studies of course material is a Taboo. You are allowed till high school to dance or paint or play cricket. After that it is strictly No No.
The immediate trigger for writing this article is the meeting with my close friend .We used to be best buddies during our college days. In our Engineering College he had lots of fans, especially the ones from other gender, because of his talent in dancing. Once he gets on the floor he would be like a wooden house on fire. Every moment he enjoyed. But as the time passed on he kept aside his passion and now leading life with a water treatment company. I doubt if he can dance for even five minutes now.In my immediate friends circle itself there is only a few people who actually chased their dreams; an MCA graduate who took career in singing, an Architect who started a new career as a film actor……
What happened to others including yours sincerely? We listened to our wicked mind rather than our innerself. The mind along with Intellect shooed us away from doing what we liked to do. Had we listened to our innerself and acted accordingly lots of souls would have been leading better lives. Very often I had heard the answer” am doing this job good and am happy with this” followed by a sad sigh.Meaning they are actually not happy with their career, life...
I had asked some of them “Well you are doing something that you doesn’t like from inside. Would you allow your sons , daughters follow their dreams?” They will think for a while and say
“No. We don’t want our sons or daughters go after their dreams”.
“Why?”
“Its risky. Even though we are not happy with our lives at least we are taking home fat salaries. Similarly if they take the PRACTICAL way and do some Professional course they can also lead richer lives, monetarily.”
So again am confused. What is the goal of our lives? Making money? doing what we feel good to do? or making money doing what we feel to do?
My Xanthippe has a dream, she wants to make lots of money first and dedicate live for doing charity. “Why you want to make money first?”
“It will ensure our future.”
“But by the time we make enough money if we two become old and is not able to actively do what we wanted to do?” I looked at her curiously posing this question. She had no answer.
Life is short and uncertain. Nobody knows what will happen the next moment. You might die, you might get imprisoned, you might get paralyzed also. What is point in thinking I should have lead my life meaningfully and to the fullest when you are about to die or you are lying in your bed paralysed. Do what ever you wants do NOW. Because there is no tomorrow. You dedicate every minute, every second to your passion. Let you be in any job draw a parallel line and give atleast half of your time for what you love to do. Life is not for one who regret and keeps sighing. If you regret or remorse for the days lost even a single time in your life, you are the biggest loser . Live happily, even if you have to die next moment die happy. Make everyone around you happy. That’s how you can make your life meaningful.
The immediate trigger for writing this article is the meeting with my close friend .We used to be best buddies during our college days. In our Engineering College he had lots of fans, especially the ones from other gender, because of his talent in dancing. Once he gets on the floor he would be like a wooden house on fire. Every moment he enjoyed. But as the time passed on he kept aside his passion and now leading life with a water treatment company. I doubt if he can dance for even five minutes now.In my immediate friends circle itself there is only a few people who actually chased their dreams; an MCA graduate who took career in singing, an Architect who started a new career as a film actor……
What happened to others including yours sincerely? We listened to our wicked mind rather than our innerself. The mind along with Intellect shooed us away from doing what we liked to do. Had we listened to our innerself and acted accordingly lots of souls would have been leading better lives. Very often I had heard the answer” am doing this job good and am happy with this” followed by a sad sigh.Meaning they are actually not happy with their career, life...
I had asked some of them “Well you are doing something that you doesn’t like from inside. Would you allow your sons , daughters follow their dreams?” They will think for a while and say
“No. We don’t want our sons or daughters go after their dreams”.
“Why?”
“Its risky. Even though we are not happy with our lives at least we are taking home fat salaries. Similarly if they take the PRACTICAL way and do some Professional course they can also lead richer lives, monetarily.”
So again am confused. What is the goal of our lives? Making money? doing what we feel good to do? or making money doing what we feel to do?
My Xanthippe has a dream, she wants to make lots of money first and dedicate live for doing charity. “Why you want to make money first?”
“It will ensure our future.”
“But by the time we make enough money if we two become old and is not able to actively do what we wanted to do?” I looked at her curiously posing this question. She had no answer.
Life is short and uncertain. Nobody knows what will happen the next moment. You might die, you might get imprisoned, you might get paralyzed also. What is point in thinking I should have lead my life meaningfully and to the fullest when you are about to die or you are lying in your bed paralysed. Do what ever you wants do NOW. Because there is no tomorrow. You dedicate every minute, every second to your passion. Let you be in any job draw a parallel line and give atleast half of your time for what you love to do. Life is not for one who regret and keeps sighing. If you regret or remorse for the days lost even a single time in your life, you are the biggest loser . Live happily, even if you have to die next moment die happy. Make everyone around you happy. That’s how you can make your life meaningful.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Guys
It was a long overnight journey from kollam to palakkad by train. I was traveling to Pondicherry. From Palakkad I boarded an early morning bus to Thiruppur. The conductor asked me to get down at middway at Coimbatore and board another bus to avoid time delay. They will be having a halt for 15 minutes there. I was confused; should I get down and get another bus or wait in the same bus. Anyway let the bus reach Coimbatore. Then I will decide.
The guy in the front seat turned back and asked help to open the bus window. I helped him and he thanked me.
He asked “where you are going?”
“Thirupur”. I answered casually. Was trying to study that guy. He’s a young chap with a baby’s innocent face. A chikna amul baby.He told that he completed Ayurveda medicine course and now doing internship at their med school at Thirupur. There was a feminine trace in his voice and body language which I was observing curiosly.
“Whats your name?” He asked
“Krishna.” I replied in a stren voice.
“Hmmm Krishna. Are you like Lord Krishna. Do you have so many girl friends?” He started giggling.
“What? No.I don't have anyone am married .” He again giggled at my answer.
“You look very smart”. He told. Yes defenitly this guy have got some problem.
“Where do you belongs to?” Just for conversation sake I asked him.
“Calicut”. Again a chuckle. I smiled and shook my head as I understood everything. Calicut has got a bad name that there are lot of gays overt here. Is he a…..? No it must be my bad judgment. We cannot generalize people. If there are some incidents like that happened to my friends in my college days doesn’t mean that this guy’s sexual orientation is wrong. e Those days even my close friend Tiger had a bad experience. He was the macho man in the college. He was coming back from Calicutby bus and one person approached him and tried to seduce him. The way Tiger handled him was famous story among our friends. The guy had got trashing in such a way that he was not able to walk properly for another week.
“So how many girl friends do you have?” I asked with a smile.
“I don’t have any girl friend. All my friends are boys only”. He giggled again. This was irritating me for a while. I tried to close my eyes and pretend sleeping. But suddenly the bus stopped with a big sound. OK the driver had put sudden break, nothing to fear.
“ Why can’t you come to my seat.? We can talk and enjoy the journey.” He’s not going to leave me. Man this guy is going to be a pain in my neck.”Or else I will come to your seat.”
“No.” My answer was a bit loud. Nearby by passengers just turned their heads towards me.” I mean I want to get some sleep. Couldn’t sleep properly at night.” . I said in a lower voice trying to be calm.
“OK. Are you going to stay at Thirupur tonight. If you want you can stay at my hostel. Guests are permitted there.”
What the hell? I just looked at him for a while.
“Look boss I don’t want to stay there. And further I always try to keep a distance with strangers.” My answer made him a little sad.
“I didn’t mean anything. I was just trying to help you. You told you are going there for official meeting. Thought I will help you in a new city. That’s it.”
“Ok thanks for being so kind . But I fear I must refuse your offer.”
By that time the bus reached Coimbatore bus stand. I got off the bus without him noticing me and took another bus. I just sat relaxed. What all kind of people we have to meet in daily life. Some time it is too difficult to avoid these people. However you try to avoid them that much they try to make a contact with you.
The bus started moving. A dark middle aged man came and sat next to me. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
“Whats your name?” He asked putting his land on my lap.” You look smart.”
The guy in the front seat turned back and asked help to open the bus window. I helped him and he thanked me.
He asked “where you are going?”
“Thirupur”. I answered casually. Was trying to study that guy. He’s a young chap with a baby’s innocent face. A chikna amul baby.He told that he completed Ayurveda medicine course and now doing internship at their med school at Thirupur. There was a feminine trace in his voice and body language which I was observing curiosly.
“Whats your name?” He asked
“Krishna.” I replied in a stren voice.
“Hmmm Krishna. Are you like Lord Krishna. Do you have so many girl friends?” He started giggling.
“What? No.I don't have anyone am married .” He again giggled at my answer.
“You look very smart”. He told. Yes defenitly this guy have got some problem.
“Where do you belongs to?” Just for conversation sake I asked him.
“Calicut”. Again a chuckle. I smiled and shook my head as I understood everything. Calicut has got a bad name that there are lot of gays overt here. Is he a…..? No it must be my bad judgment. We cannot generalize people. If there are some incidents like that happened to my friends in my college days doesn’t mean that this guy’s sexual orientation is wrong. e Those days even my close friend Tiger had a bad experience. He was the macho man in the college. He was coming back from Calicutby bus and one person approached him and tried to seduce him. The way Tiger handled him was famous story among our friends. The guy had got trashing in such a way that he was not able to walk properly for another week.
“So how many girl friends do you have?” I asked with a smile.
“I don’t have any girl friend. All my friends are boys only”. He giggled again. This was irritating me for a while. I tried to close my eyes and pretend sleeping. But suddenly the bus stopped with a big sound. OK the driver had put sudden break, nothing to fear.
“ Why can’t you come to my seat.? We can talk and enjoy the journey.” He’s not going to leave me. Man this guy is going to be a pain in my neck.”Or else I will come to your seat.”
“No.” My answer was a bit loud. Nearby by passengers just turned their heads towards me.” I mean I want to get some sleep. Couldn’t sleep properly at night.” . I said in a lower voice trying to be calm.
“OK. Are you going to stay at Thirupur tonight. If you want you can stay at my hostel. Guests are permitted there.”
What the hell? I just looked at him for a while.
“Look boss I don’t want to stay there. And further I always try to keep a distance with strangers.” My answer made him a little sad.
“I didn’t mean anything. I was just trying to help you. You told you are going there for official meeting. Thought I will help you in a new city. That’s it.”
“Ok thanks for being so kind . But I fear I must refuse your offer.”
By that time the bus reached Coimbatore bus stand. I got off the bus without him noticing me and took another bus. I just sat relaxed. What all kind of people we have to meet in daily life. Some time it is too difficult to avoid these people. However you try to avoid them that much they try to make a contact with you.
The bus started moving. A dark middle aged man came and sat next to me. He smiled at me and I smiled back.
“Whats your name?” He asked putting his land on my lap.” You look smart.”
Thursday, February 25, 2010
SUNDAY
5am:
Gosh!!! It’s a Sunday. I was not feeling to get up from bed.
“What sir? Not going for the morning walk?” my Xanthippe asked.
“Its Sunday honey”. I turned to the other side of the bed without opening my eyes.
“So? Get up, get up…” She’s not going to leave me.” Did you forget your Cholesterol level?” She started the lecture with LDL,VLDL,LBW so many abbreviations which went over my head. It is better to get up now. One thing is there, I always liked the walk in the early morning. The coolness in the atmosphere, the fresh air, the birds and a lot of time to think without any intervention from my Xanthippe, Boss or clients.
6am:
Back to home .Hmmm today I can sit and relax and read the newspaper thoroughly. There is a lot to read today, including Sunday supplement.
“Sweetheart tea please”. Just shouted over to the kitchen. Newspaper with a hot cup of tea. That’s the combination.
I was flipping through the pages of newspaper , suddenly a cup appeared between my face and the paper. I got really scared.” What the …?”
“Don’t think its Sunday and you can sit and read newspaper till evening. You have to wash the car.” Its order from the top. I just smiled and gave a flying kiss. Yeah , have to wash the car. Anyway Monday morning I always have no time for anything. I will be so busy I won’t be having time to wash the car. I was washing the car humming one old film song, My neighbor came near the compound wall and wished me good morning, gave an ugly smile and went inside his house. What? Whats wrong with him? Oh !! Shucks!! forgot to give him back the emergency lamp. It was lying there for almost a month. I borrowed it from him when the power went off at our house and emergency lamp stopped working. My Xanthippe had been asking me to return it from the next day onwards. Its lucky that she didn’t see that smile or it would have been another class on promptness.
6.30am:
Whoa!! Car wash over. Now I can sit with the newspaper. Its a quiet interesting story on a politician taking bribe. I almost sank into that , “ Honey are you still sitting with the newspaper? The whole day is there for that. Before power goes off press your clothes. Weeks clothes are lying there.” Ok, Ok its ironing time. Let me play some music. It always eases the work.
Bob Dylan started singing,”Buffalo Soldier, In the heart of America….”. The memories took me to good ol’ college days. Micheal used to sing this song whenever we used had booze parties. He was a professional singer and his voice and his guitar always took us to a higher level of ecstasy. He will sing songs to the girls playing guitar and ask for a treat. By the way where is that bugger? Sometime back someone told he took up marketing carrier and was working with some bank. Miss you buddy.
7am:
“Work overrr…”.
“Good. Could you please go to the market and get the vegetables . Am having a bad headache”. I just stared at her.
“What do you think of me? The Genie out of the little old lamp to give the next job when one job is finished?”. The question almost came to my mouth, I swallowed it along with the bitter guard juice. Both bitter to the core, the question and the juice.
9am:
“Breakfast ready”. Whiteoats .Shucks…….cholestrol,uric acid, fat, lipids, darn it.
10am:
India Vs. South Africa One Day Cricket match. Sachin was at his best. India 10 overs and 85 runs. It was the last ball of the over from Kallis. Sachin stepped out of the crease; power went off. “Fag you astronauts”. I am sure the EB people had not heard what I was yelling. But I have to vent out my frustration.
11am :
The book had been lying there for quite a long time. The power issue is blessing in disguise. Today I can finish it. Was deeply immersed in the book when I heard loud thug in the front door. It was a bunch of relatives. They were planning to go to some temples. Thought they will pick us also on the way. Since it was a last minute program couldn’t inform us in prior. My xanthippe looked at me with a pleading eyes. I picked up the cue. Ok then lets have some spiritual time.
10pm:
It was almost 9-30pm when we returned from temple visit. Had been to several temples. On my table the book was lying half open, the newspaper folded and kept, the flash news in the News channel announced a huge victory by Indian team with Sachin scoring 150 runs. That’s fine, I’ll spend the next Sunday only for me. Fully dedicated for reading and TV. Let me hit the bed now. My Xanthippe said,” I was longing for something like this. Going to those temples. Thanks a lot.” She gave a big hug and a kiss. Hmm.. after all,the day was not that much a waste.
Gosh!!! It’s a Sunday. I was not feeling to get up from bed.
“What sir? Not going for the morning walk?” my Xanthippe asked.
“Its Sunday honey”. I turned to the other side of the bed without opening my eyes.
“So? Get up, get up…” She’s not going to leave me.” Did you forget your Cholesterol level?” She started the lecture with LDL,VLDL,LBW so many abbreviations which went over my head. It is better to get up now. One thing is there, I always liked the walk in the early morning. The coolness in the atmosphere, the fresh air, the birds and a lot of time to think without any intervention from my Xanthippe, Boss or clients.
6am:
Back to home .Hmmm today I can sit and relax and read the newspaper thoroughly. There is a lot to read today, including Sunday supplement.
“Sweetheart tea please”. Just shouted over to the kitchen. Newspaper with a hot cup of tea. That’s the combination.
I was flipping through the pages of newspaper , suddenly a cup appeared between my face and the paper. I got really scared.” What the …?”
“Don’t think its Sunday and you can sit and read newspaper till evening. You have to wash the car.” Its order from the top. I just smiled and gave a flying kiss. Yeah , have to wash the car. Anyway Monday morning I always have no time for anything. I will be so busy I won’t be having time to wash the car. I was washing the car humming one old film song, My neighbor came near the compound wall and wished me good morning, gave an ugly smile and went inside his house. What? Whats wrong with him? Oh !! Shucks!! forgot to give him back the emergency lamp. It was lying there for almost a month. I borrowed it from him when the power went off at our house and emergency lamp stopped working. My Xanthippe had been asking me to return it from the next day onwards. Its lucky that she didn’t see that smile or it would have been another class on promptness.
6.30am:
Whoa!! Car wash over. Now I can sit with the newspaper. Its a quiet interesting story on a politician taking bribe. I almost sank into that , “ Honey are you still sitting with the newspaper? The whole day is there for that. Before power goes off press your clothes. Weeks clothes are lying there.” Ok, Ok its ironing time. Let me play some music. It always eases the work.
Bob Dylan started singing,”Buffalo Soldier, In the heart of America….”. The memories took me to good ol’ college days. Micheal used to sing this song whenever we used had booze parties. He was a professional singer and his voice and his guitar always took us to a higher level of ecstasy. He will sing songs to the girls playing guitar and ask for a treat. By the way where is that bugger? Sometime back someone told he took up marketing carrier and was working with some bank. Miss you buddy.
7am:
“Work overrr…”.
“Good. Could you please go to the market and get the vegetables . Am having a bad headache”. I just stared at her.
“What do you think of me? The Genie out of the little old lamp to give the next job when one job is finished?”. The question almost came to my mouth, I swallowed it along with the bitter guard juice. Both bitter to the core, the question and the juice.
9am:
“Breakfast ready”. Whiteoats .Shucks…….cholestrol,uric acid, fat, lipids, darn it.
10am:
India Vs. South Africa One Day Cricket match. Sachin was at his best. India 10 overs and 85 runs. It was the last ball of the over from Kallis. Sachin stepped out of the crease; power went off. “Fag you astronauts”. I am sure the EB people had not heard what I was yelling. But I have to vent out my frustration.
11am :
The book had been lying there for quite a long time. The power issue is blessing in disguise. Today I can finish it. Was deeply immersed in the book when I heard loud thug in the front door. It was a bunch of relatives. They were planning to go to some temples. Thought they will pick us also on the way. Since it was a last minute program couldn’t inform us in prior. My xanthippe looked at me with a pleading eyes. I picked up the cue. Ok then lets have some spiritual time.
10pm:
It was almost 9-30pm when we returned from temple visit. Had been to several temples. On my table the book was lying half open, the newspaper folded and kept, the flash news in the News channel announced a huge victory by Indian team with Sachin scoring 150 runs. That’s fine, I’ll spend the next Sunday only for me. Fully dedicated for reading and TV. Let me hit the bed now. My Xanthippe said,” I was longing for something like this. Going to those temples. Thanks a lot.” She gave a big hug and a kiss. Hmm.. after all,the day was not that much a waste.
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